look no pants
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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