why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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