you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
