I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
