marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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