Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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