So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
is that a dick in a sweater?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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