i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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