I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
