So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
