someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
