i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
