his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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