halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
