is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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