So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
