it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
