am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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