Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
