Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
