Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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