In the future we'll all be gay
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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