Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You've changed since you got that strap on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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