I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
