i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
