It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
