I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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