Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
