i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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