I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
