How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I understand Curling. That high.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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