Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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