One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
