weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
