So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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