hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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