imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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