Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I need to calm my uterus...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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