Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize