...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
