we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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