hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
