Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
