i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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