Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
