no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I want her autograph on my taint
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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