Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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