At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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