I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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