Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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