I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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