Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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