Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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