Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
God I need to hump something, right now.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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