I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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