So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
