Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
