He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
