STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
