I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
