I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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