I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
